I can’t get no sleep

This week's blog is about sleeping.... or rather it's about not sleeping. The truth is that I'm not a great sleeper to start with. That doesn't mean I don't like sleep, I love it. I'm just not very good at it. Certainly not like my wife is. Linds would represent the national team at the Olympics if it was an event.

I bring this up because I noticed that ear plugs are on the mandatory kit list. This is because the rainforest is deafening at night as the various creatures crawl out of their hidey-holes to play. Combine this jungle orchestra with my highly overactive imagination and you can see why earplugs are a necessity in Panama.

Then there is the fact that we are sleeping in jungle hammocks at night. These are apparently safer than tents because they are raised off the ground. I hope somebody has mentioned this to the jaguars crouching beneath us - laughing at how conveniently we have created giant human suasage rolls for them and then lined ourselves up like the conveyor belt at Yo Sushi, dangling from the trees. I'm also convinced the hammocks will only inspire the inner Chuck-Norris for innovative tarantulas as they abseil down from the trees for a tasty reward.

A few weeks ago I did a trial of the hammock in Aberfeldy on a camping trip with some friends. After eventually working out how to use the ropes I was actually pretty pleased with how it all came together and with how comfortable the hammock was. I proudly shared pics of my ‘bed’ for the weekend in my family WhatsApp group and the response I received from my sister in law Jessica was "Fuck that!!"

However, the big advantage that I have is that I’m dad to an 8 month old who is working on her 4th tooth and pushing through the pain (and sound) barrier nightly. Plus a 'threenager' who has recently discovered that the magical boundary that kept her from coming downstairs after bed time isn't real! So ...... 7 nights in a hammock with noisy, hungry creepy crawlies ..... too easy! Where do I sign up for this luxury sleep fest!?!?